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Dr. Deb's
​Emotional Wellness Blog

You Are Not An Island

6/21/2017

152 Comments

 
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At times we may feel that we need to do things on our own without anyone else's help. Sometimes this can be cathartic other times it can leave you with a feeling of loneliness and a mild feeling of despair.  It is very important for everyone to understand that we are not islands and it is healthy to reach out to our support system. We have support in friends, family and colleagues.  It may be difficult at times to lean on this support due to issues that may have come up in your previous or current relationships. However, it is important to nurture and grow our support system.

If you look back, you may see that at different points in your life, you relied on different people for different things.  Depending on our age, needs, wants and desires, we have turned to different people in our support system to assist with different areas of our lives.   As we grow and age, some of us feel that relying on others is  a flaw or limitation, that is NOT true! Reaching out to others in our support system is not a sign of weakness it is a sign of strength. It is just as important to be a support to others, as it is to be supported.  Having a good support system is a two way street, we need to support those in our lives just as those people support us. 

Here are 5 advantages of having a strong support system:  

1. Sense of belonging:   A sense of belonging is important throughout our lives.  It starts with our family of origin and our friend group as we grow from children to adolescents to adults.  We need to thrive, not just survive.  With a good support system in place, we can flourish and reach our potential in whatever area we are striving. 

2.  Reduce Stress:  A strong support system aids in stress reduction.  Venting and spending time with loved ones can help reduce our anxiety, and increase our mood.   Call a friend or family member to go for a walk, hike or a yoga class when you need to reduce stress.  Having a strong support system can assist us in decompressing after a stressful day.      

3.  Improve overall health and wellbeing:  A good support system helps with our overall physical health throughout our lives and especially as we age.   Feeling as though we are not alone helps with physical health as well as emotional wellbeing.     

4.  Emotional support:  An emotional support system is very important as good emotional health and wellbeing can increase overall physical health.  A strong support system is pertinent to good emotional health as it gives us a community of support during the trying times.    

5.  Improved self-esteem:  When we have people we can rely on and who can rely on us for support, we feel better about ourselves.  It is always good to feel as though we have some people rooting for us on the sidelines as well as rooting for those in our support system.

Sometimes we find ourselves in a new city or location where we do not know anyone.  If this is the case, try volunteering, take a class, music lessons, join a group such as a running or a book club, the idea is to find other people with similar interests as our own. As adults, many of us find like-minded people at our place of work, other times that is not the case.  Look for organizations or meet up groups in an interest area and try to slowly build a support system in your new area.     

​
Disclaimer:  This blog is for informational purposes only and is not meant to be a replacement for treatment or therapy.  ​



152 Comments
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10/15/2020 09:17:31 pm

Thank you for sharing these many benefits of having a strong support group. I do love that support groups can give us a sense of belonging. The other day my daughter mentioned that she is depressed, and maybe I can consider peer-to-peer support for her.

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1/3/2021 07:24:30 pm

You made a good point when you shared that it is important to have a strong support system that can provide you good emotional health. My friend just mentioned the other day that her sister is going through a tough time ever since she got divorced a few months ago and her ex-husband managed to win the child custody. I will suggest to her taking her sister to a reliable place where she can improve her mental health.

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2/2/2021 09:10:51 am

It is interesting that this post underlined that individual counselling is beneficial with the presence of a strong support system. My brother shared that he would like to enroll in a counselling session as he has been having a hard time coping with the pandemic. I will definitely encourage him to sign up and assure him that I will be with him every step of the way.

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5/10/2021 11:45:52 pm

The pandemic we live in has opened deep wounds in all of us. The information you give is really valuable because it is difficult to cope with fear and anxiety. As you have stated, it is necessary to hold on to our loved ones more, to deal with the jobs we love, to be well fed and to continue with professional support when necessary.

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5/19/2021 12:37:43 pm

My cousin has been thinking about getting some better consulting for her mental health in order to be safer. He would really like to get some help from a professional in order to be better. I liked what you said about how he can have some better self-esteem by having the right emotional support.

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5/28/2021 04:49:28 pm

I found it interesting when you said that emotional support can increase overall physical health as it gives us a shoulder to lean on during hard times. My husband and I have been fighting a lot over petty things since March, and I'm getting emotionally and physically drained and tired. I guess we should look for counselling services that can help us communicate about our needs so we can get through this for our five kids.

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8/4/2021 10:37:28 am

I agree that a good support system can help with physical health throughout a person's life. A ton of people might assume that mental health can only be solved by yourself. But a good support system is great for your mental health and physical health.

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I agree that a good support system can help with physical health throughout a person's life. A ton of people might assume that mental health can only be solved by yourself. But a good support system is great for your mental health and physical health.

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1/29/2022 01:18:55 am

My favorite part of this article is it is critical for everyone to recognize that we are not islands and that reaching out to our support system is good. Someone recently told me about this and it is different from what I understand. Thanks for helping me understand adult therapists.

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2/25/2022 01:48:17 am

I totally agree when you said that an emotional support system would be helpful to also increase physical health. With that in mind, step-family counseling can also lead to a healthier physical condition for the whole family if they invest in this aspect. It will definitely be good for the overall relationships to work if illnesses can be avoided once you try working on having your own child.

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3/2/2022 07:45:24 pm

I agreed when you stated that a strong support system helps in relieving stress. My friend has been so stressed dealing with all the conflict in her family. I think it's advisable for her to seek help from a counselor that can supervise her mental health.

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I found it very helpful when you described how you'd benefit from meeting with a support group. A few weeks ago, my dad said he got worried about his brother's mental health. My uncle hasn't been the same since he came back, so I think it'd be good if my dad suggested a support group. Thanks for the advice on how support systems are built to help you realize that you're not alone.

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6/21/2022 07:38:31 pm

It caught my attention when you said that no man is an island. I respect and believe that especially when you feel alone and need someone to cling to when you feel depressed and having anxiety issues. I agree that a support system will be a huge help. This way, having someone to rely upon and depend on can make you feel you belong and regain confidence. This way, it will improve mental and overall health. This website will enlighten those facing emotional struggles and having mental issues.

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Family counseling can also lead to a healthier physical condition for the whole family if they invest in this aspect.

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7/12/2022 02:53:46 am

We may feel the desire to perform things on our own without the assistance of others at times. It is critical to cultivate and expand our support system. After a difficult day, having a strong support system might help us unwind. A strong support system can also help with stress reduction. A strong support system benefits our physical health throughout our lives.

Feeling as if we are not alone benefits both our physical and mental wellness. A solid support system is important for healthy mental health since it provides us with a community of support through difficult times.

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I like that you discuss the benefits of having a robust support system in mental health. Among the benefits you mention, I strongly agree that a solid support system aids in stress reduction. Venting and spending time with loved ones can help reduce our anxiety and increase our mood. Call a friend or family member to go for a walk, hike, or a yoga class when you need to reduce stress. A robust support system can assist us in decompressing after a stressful day.

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It helped when you mentioned that throughout our lives, it is important to acknowledge the sense of belonging. A friend of mine told me the other day that he was hoping to find counseling support as he was experiencing trauma issues with his family members, and he asked if I had any idea what would be the best option to consider. I love this informative article, I'll be sure to tell him that talking to a counseling service can be a good help.

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    Dr. Deb is a successful Psychologist who practices in New York City.  She is an Anxiety Specialist who works with adolescents and adults providing both individual and couples counseling.

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